Emmett Gets Bored, Oh Dear
by wellitsnotgoingtosuckitself
Summary: Truth and Dare, Emmett Style! Emmett's bored and he's looking for fun with his siblings and ever so adoring wife. Maybe not so adoring afer this! Hilarity ensue's. R&R please. :D
1. A Defeat

**Random Twilight fanfic because I'm rather bored. Hope you all like it.**

Edward's P.O.V  
As I stared across the lawn to were Bella was arm wrestling Emmett. Again.  
It had always hurt his pride that new born Bella could beat him. Now, a few years down the line, he knew he could beat her; he was just having trouble with it. I smirked as Emmett's face contorted in concentration and Bella's did the same. I heard Alice's twinkly laugh behind me and didn't get it until I saw the vision in my head. Just as Bella's hand slammed into the rock on which they were leaning, her hand was on top of Emmett's. She laughed and sped over to me where I greeted her with a congratulatory kiss.  
"Please Ed, get a friggin' room" Emmett walked in, sour faced as ever.  
"Em, just coz you iz a LOOZA!" Bella taunted him from my arms.  
"She beat you good Em" Jasper added.  
"I'd like to see you try and beat her then Jazz" He retorted.  
Jasper turned to Bella "Any time Bella, anytime" In his Texan accent.  
"Nah, it's okay, I'll save you the embarrassment" She laughed.  
He walked straight past us all and straight into his favourite armchair, where Rosalie consoled him.

Bella's P.O.V  
After Emmett had gotten over his recent defeat, he and Rosalie had gone out hunting and Edward and I were lying on the floor of the back garden, looking at the stars.  
"This is nice, you and me, just ... here." I stated.  
"Yeah, but I'd much rather be doing something else" He said hintingly.  
"Come on then, Mister Cullen" I stood up and held out my hand for him. He was about to reach out for it but the smile on his face vanished and his face immediately darkened. "What? What is it?" I asked. Worry lining my pale face.  
He turned to me and whispered "Emmett's back, and he's bored."  
I hadn't been in the family for long, but it was long enough to know that they had to move here from the last place they lived because Emmett had gotten bored and caused a local pizza place to burn down. "Run?"  
"Run." Edward confirmed, he took my hand and we ran to our house like we'd never run before.  
We got to the front door and Emmett walked out, a mischievous grin on his face.  
"Too late little bro, everyone's playing"  
"Well, not us" Edward said firmly.  
"Anyone care to enlighten the newborn?" I cut in.  
"Truth or dare sis, truth or dare" and with that we took my hand and sped off towards the house. Forcing Edward to follow after us.

Emmett's P.O.V  
I grabbed Bella's hand and ran off with her as quick as I could, knowing Ed would have no choice but to follow. I grinned a very evil grin as I heard Alice rallying everyone together in the lounge. She must have had a vision and known to, god; she's a fabulous sister. We reached the doors and I dragged Bella in, Edward close behind us and a brooding expression on his face.  
"Okay, everyone in a circle please!" I called, and everyone assembled in a circle of sorts. "Since it was my idea, I get to go first" here was a collective groan and I looked round at each individual face deciding who best to choose.  
"Bella" If the colour could have drained from her face; it would have "Truth or dare?"  
"Dare" She said confidently.  
"Okay, I dare you too..." Edward cut me off with a growl.  
"No way Emmett" he said.  
"Hey, I can take it, I _did_ pick dare, go on tell me" Bella defended herself well.  
"I dare you too sit in your underwear for the rest of the game"  
The look she gave me was pure gold. It was surprised but with a hint of embarrassment as well, totally lacking confidence. She was going to be chicken and bail out. "Fine" she said.

Jasper's P.O.V  
We all waited anxiously until Bella said "Fine" and started unbuttoning her shirt to reveal smooth curves and a very lacy bra, with matching knickers. I couldn't help but gawp at her. She would have blushed if she could, I calmed her down and she murmured a quick thanks in my direction, not meeting anyone's eyes. Edward growled, "hey, keep your thoughts to yourself yeah? My wife your thinking about."  
**"Sorry" me and Emmett both said, getting shocked looks from Alice and Rosalie. "Hey, we may be dead, but were still men" Em said in defence. I smiled and hugged Alice closer, making it clear that I still loved her.  
"My turn" Alice chimed out from my side "Rose, truth or dare?"  
"Truth" Rosalie answered.  
Edward chuckled.  
"Was Emmett any good when you first had sex?" She asked. That's my Alice.  
Rosalie glanced at Emmett who was grinning largely, then said "Easy Question; hell yeah he was!"  
Alice looked put down, I immediately cheered her up. I loved my power.**

**Well, I hoped you like it.  
I thought I'd end on a happy note because I am a huge Jasper/Emmett fan, no so much Edward. He's just not that appealing to me, anyway; R&R please readers. Much appreciated : D**


	2. He's Not Gay!

**Carlisle's P.O.V  
**I leant over my laptop keyboard, intent on finishing all this work before sun down. Lucky i had vampire speed. I chuckled at my own joke and carried on typing, not looking down at the keys.  
"Carlisle, you should come down. You have the rest of the week to do that work, and it's not like sleep will get in the way." Esme, said as she walked in.  
I smiled at my wife's beautiful face and said "what are the children doing?"  
"They're hardly children Carlisle, and don't let them catch you calling them children either" Esme warned.  
I listened hard to downstairs, and heard Alice's voice ask "Was Emmett any good when you first had sex?"  
I turned to Esme again, and she answered "Truth or dare"  
"Oh, should we go watch?" I asked.  
"Trust you; remember what happened last time they played that?"  
I smiled," I'll keep them in order."  
"It's more likely that you'll start playing with them" she said on her way out, I zoomed downstairs to find my adopted family sitting in a circle (of sorts) and a game of truth and dare well under way. Enough so that i wasn't noticed when i came downstairs and sat in the shadows, overseeing the game with much amusement.

**Rosalie's P.O.V  
**After My question, Edward spoke up "My turn" He grinned.  
Alice Chuckled "Good one"  
We all stared at Edward waiting for him to choose his victim. He looked at Jasper, Jasper smiled uneasily.  
"Jasper, truth or dare?"  
"Dare" He answered, hoping it wasn't too embarrassing.  
"Okay. Jasper, i dare you to go and give Mike Newton a big gay smooch!"  
Jasper's mouth practically dropped to his knees. He was gobsmacked, and so was everyone else, except a burst of laughter from the shadows which made us all jump. Carlisle walked out of the shadows with a very big smile on his face "Good one son." He stated to Edward.  
"Carlisle, you can't seriously let him do make me do that?" Jasper pleaded.  
"A dare is a dare, i promised Esme that i wouldn't let this get out of hand, i think this is rather in the hand if you ask me"  
"Does this mean i can put my clothes back on?" Bella asked.  
"Yes, but only when we leave the house for dares." Emmett replied. Bella scowled at him.

**Alice's P.O.V  
**Carlisle drove us down to Mike's house. Emmett had grabbed the chance to be in the front seat with the camera and placed a mystery CD in the radio, we all looked questioningly at each other as to what it could be until Linkin Park started playing, Bella smiled and high fived Em for the choice.  
We pulled up outside and everyone urged Jasper out "go on, it'll be over before you know it. And you won't hurt him, don't worry" I told him.  
He walked up to the door and rang the bell, shaking his head as he did so.

**Jasper's P.O.V**  
Mrs Newton opened the door. I smiled pleasantly. "Hello Mrs Newton is Mike home?"  
"Why of course dear, hang on a minute" she turned and called Mike downstairs.  
He gave me a confused look "Jasper, what are you doing here?"  
"Oh, i just wanted to give you something" I replied and quickly leaned in and gave him a 'big gay smooch' as Edward put it. My vampire ears picked up the rest of my family laughing in the SUV, revenge will be sweet. I pulled away, "well, I'll see you" i hurriedly said and ran (human speed) back to the car which was shacking with laughter. I climbed in and quickly made everyone fell extremely nauseous, that'll teach them.  
"My turn!" Bella chimed from her seat on the drive home. "Carlisle, truth or dare?"  
Carlisle almost crashed the car "erm, Bella at least wait until we get home."  
"Fine, but your still my victim" Everyone laughed at her choice of words.

**Edward's P.O.V  
**Once we had gotten back into the house and Bella had gotten undressed once again. We carried on with the game; Bella had chosen Carlisle as her 'victim'. And Carlisle was having a hard time getting out of it.  
"Now, I'm not playing; I'm just over seeing things for Esme." He said.  
"Too late Carlisle, if you're involved, you're playing."Emmett said.  
"I've just had a vision." Alice announced. Every turned to her, "Carlisle's playing" she said "but Esme isn't happy about it"  
Carlisle hung his head in defeat and said "Truth"  
"Was there anyone in your life before Esme?" Bella asked we all looked surprised; this was a relatively easy question.  
"Well, no. Never" Carlisle said, rather embarrassed.  
"So you mean you were a virgin before Esme?"I said, Me, Emmett and Jasper was holding back laughs.  
"Yes, and laugh all you want" We all laughed, Earning us disgusted looks from the girls. "That's sweet" Rose said.  
"Thank you, now; i believe its Jasper's turn." He said, diverting attention from himself.


	3. A Week!

_**Hello Readers, thank you so much for reviewing this story.  
It makes me happy that you all love it enough to carry on reading this story that i thought up at one o'clock in the morning.  
Enjoy...**_

**Emmett's P.O.V  
**This was sweet!  
Its Jaspers turn and you can so tell that he is going to pick Edward. His revenge will be funny as hell. Oh shit, Bella looks thoughtful; I think she is plotting revenge on my part. Plus she keeps smiling evilly and Alice is getting visions left right and centre.  
This was more than a simple game of truth or dare now, this was war. A battle of embarrassing truths and laugh out loud dares. This was more than a lounge; this was battle grounds.  
May the best man win, and I intend to.

**Alice's P.O.V  
**Jasper looked around, and looked at Edward, revenge was his only motive.  
Instead, he focussed on Bella, clearly blocking his thoughts.  
"Bella" he said with a smirk "Truth or dare?"  
Bella was in thought for a while, "Dare" she declared.  
"Okay; Bella, I dare you to not have sex with Edward for a week" Jasper finished with a grin.  
"Nice one Jazz" Emmett said and high fived him.  
"Fine" Bella said, i noticed she had stopped breathing. She was very angry at the moment; Rose and I looked at each other worriedly. This was going to have massive repercussions.  
"Before the game carries on" Em announced, I'd like to place a bet with Jasper. You In?" He looked over to my husband.  
"Naturally" Jasper said at once "what is it?"  
"I bet you 50 bucks that they can't do it" Em said confidently, he waited for Jaspers reply.  
"Done" He reached over to shake his hand.

**Rosalie's P.O.V  
**I smiled, that was an awesome dare. And good thinking on betting on it. Edward would so do that dare, especially if there was money on it plus, he has a male ego. Of course he'd do it. I smiled, and ran my fingers through my hair. I was going to die it soon, a nice brown colour or maybe something adventurous. I made a mental note to ask Alice later.  
I finally realised that it was my go and i looked at Alice "Truth or dare Alice?"  
"Dare" Then went blank, obviously a vision. She came out of it with a murderous look on her face. "Rosalie Hale!" she shouted "No Way am I going to do that!"  
"Too late, unless you want to say no and loose the competition." I shrugged.  
"I'd rather loose than die my hair blue" she stated. "I'm out" She stood up and walked out of the room.  
"One down, five to go" Edward whispered.

**Carlisle's P.O.V  
**"My turn" I said with a smile. I called Alice; she walked in and said "I'll go get it" Obviously having a vision beforehand. Before she left she said "Any specific colour?"  
"Surprise me" I replied.  
Turning to my daughter with a smile on my face, I asked the question. "Rosalie, truth or dare" knowing she had too much pride to go truth.  
"Dare" she said, so predictable.  
"Well, when Alice gets back, I dare you to die _your_ hair whatever colour Alice has bought"  
If Rosalie could have fainted, I'm sure she would have right now. Gritting her teeth and locking her jaw she murmured out "Fine"  
We waited awhile until Alice came back with the die, unveiling it with a theatrical "Ta-da!" and presented it to Rosalie. Who sped upstairs and went to work with it.  
"Are we going to Carry on the game or wait for Rose?" Bella asked, she looked embarrassed to draw attention to herself in her current... state. But no one took any notice of it and remembered to look at her face or risk being mauled by Edward.

**Emmett's P.O.V  
**Oh my god. I can't believe Carlisle has just done that. I'm probably not going to get any until that dye washes out. "Carlisle, truth or dare?" i asked him.  
"Truth" he said proudly.  
"Wimp" came the reply from Edward. We all looked at him "you were all thinking it."  
"Okay Carlisle" i smiled evilly "How many rooms in this house have you and Esme had sex in?"  
Carlisle smiled proudly and i disgusted noise came from Edward, "Carlisle, you might not want to think about it... oh, oh, oh that is so disgusting!"  
"What? What? What?" Bella asked, desperate for the answer.  
"Me and Esme have had sex in every single room in this house, more than once" Carlisle admitted.  
I instantly regretted asking the question as everyone almost simultaneously went "urgh" we even heard Alice and Rosalie say it."Even this room?" Jasper asked, as he was sitting on the only couch, he quickly stood up and sat on the floor with the rest of us.  
"_All of them_" he said, he obviously meant...  
"Our rooms?!" Bella shouted.  
"Relax Bella, everyone; it was way before you came."  
"Oh god" Edward said.  
"What?" Carlisle asked.  
"I was here before Esme"  
"It wasn't while you were here Edward, don't worry."  
"No, I'm not worried about that. It's that if it was all of the rooms, and i was here before Esme..."  
"Oh" I said, before erupting into hysterics with Jasper.  
"So, that's why my room was suddenly so tidy when i got back" Edward concluded.

**Rosalie's P.O.V  
**Oh God.  
Oh God.  
Oh God.  
Oh God.  
Oh God.  
"My. Hair. Is. Bright. Green!" _**(A/N; LMAO!)**_ I said through clenched teeth to Alice.  
"Well, it was a dare" she replied timidly.  
"And now i have to face people like this, how long does it stay in?" i asked.  
Alice picked up the box and read "2 days"  
Phew. That's good. I sighed and thanked Alice then went downstairs to face my second death. I would gladly take the pain of turning a thousand times over this.  
I cleared my throat and everyone turned to look at me as i descended the stairs. I glanced at Emmett's face, he was _so not _getting any tonight.  
I was furious, Jasper had to send extra waves of calm my way; and i was still really angry. Carlisle was going to get it and get it good.


	4. Gifts!

_**Hey readers, just wanted to thank you for all your fandom and reviews, i decided to work in some of my favourite things in this chapter. I hope it works and you don't all hate me for it.  
Much love, many hugs and more cookies;  
Emma xx**_

**Esme's P.O.V**  
I walked into my beautiful house, arms filled with shopping bags, and it's not like I'm not strong enough to carry them but a little help wouldn't go a miss now and again. Alice suddenly appeared in front of me and took some of the bags off me; i smiled gratefully and gave her the present I'd bought her. She squealed in delight and rushed off to change into her new dress.  
"Carlisle?" I called out.  
"In the lounge" Came my husband's reply.  
I strolled into the lounge (human speed) and took in my surroundings. I was_ not _happy. I looked sternly at my Carlisle and he instantly withered under my gaze.  
"I bought gifts for you all" I declared.  
Everyone's attention immediately turned towards me. I smiled warmly and delved into the bags i held, pulling out the thing I'd bought for Bella first.  
"Bella, this is for you. I hope you like it" I gave her the two t-shirts and watched her face as she unfolded them.  
"Oh My God! The Mighty Boosh and 30 Seconds to Mars?!" She turned to me "Esme, I love you, thank you so much"  
She went to get up. "Don't get up dear" i said, referring to her current half naked situation.  
She turned to Emmett, "Em, can i please put some clothes on now?"  
Emmett thought for a moment "fine" he said, after receiving a growl from Edward. She happily put her Boosh t-shirt on and i carried on giving out gifts.  
"Emmett, here's yours" I handed him a Linkin Park album, "I hope it's the right one"  
"Minutes to Midnight!" he practically exploded "Thank you so much!"  
"Jasper" I handed him a bag of 3 posters "That's My Chemical Romance, System of a Down and Red Hot Chilli Peppers" I hoped that was right.  
Jasper nodded a big grin on his face. "Your inner fan boy is screaming right now, isn't it?" Bella remarked.  
Jasper nodded again, still smiling like a fool. I dished out presents for the rest of my family, but when i pulled out Rosalie's gift, I looked around, only just noticing her absence. "Where's rose?" i asked, mildly afraid of the answer.  
"Here" i heard a glum voice behind me, sitting on the stairs, but it didn't look like Rose. Rose had blond hair. Until it dawned on me, and i rushed over to her, murmuring "oh dear, your beautiful hair" whilst rubbing her back supportively. "Why?" i asked.  
"A dare from Carlisle" she answered.  
I turned from Rose to my husband, who was almost cowering in fear.  
"Okay, that's it. I am ending this game right now!"  
I turned my back on my family and stormed upstairs.

**Edward's P.O.V  
**I turned to Jazz "does this mean our dare is still in effect?"  
He looked marginally thoughtful, "well, there is money on it so, yes" he finished with a triumphant smile.  
"Hang on a minute, what's say we make this interesting?" Bella interfered.  
"Go on" said Emmett, stepping forward.  
"Well, you two have a bet going on whether Edward and I cannot have sex for a week" she explained i propose that we see out of the six of us who can the longest and the winner gets the $50 from the other two couples and they get to keep their $50."  
"Give me a for instance" Emmett asked.  
"Well Bella is saying that whoever-out of the three couples-can go the longest without sex get $100 and to keep their own $50. So if me and Alice had sex, and you and rose had sex before Edward and Bella, they would win" Jasper explained.  
"Ah, i like it" Emmett said "okay and let the bet begin"  
"By the way, no one can ask Alice who wins, okay?" I said  
everyone agreed. We all shook hands and wished each other good luck. Then dispersed to our rooms.  
"We are so going to win this Edward" Bella said.  
"How?" i asked, perplexed at her.  
"Well, first off; Emmett and Rose can't go two days without having sex, let alone a week and Alice and Jasper, well; you've read their minds" She smiled that smile that i love. So Bella.  
"Just give it two or three days..."


	5. One Down

_2 Days Later...__**  
**_**Emmett's P.O.V  
**Holy Mackerel. Two Days without sex. Rose and I were beginning to feel the effects. We spent virtually no time together for fear of losing the bet, plus Rose was spending most her time washing her hair, and i was spending more and more time with my cars or running. Lots and lots of running.

**Rosalie's P.O.V  
**I took the towel off my head and silently rejoiced the green die had washed out, and luckily no humans had seen me like this. But then there was still a matter of the bet. Emmett and i were beginning to feel the effects. More so than everyone else, but i wanted to win that bet so badly.  
I decided to go and work on my cars to get my mind off it. Leaving my hair wet, i went down to the garage only to find my husband working on his jeep. My mind went into over drive; I'd never wanted one individual more at any moment in time. Emmett looked up and seemed to think the same thing i did. We took each other's hand and sped off into the woods.

**Emmett and Rosalie's P.O.V**  
this was going to be the best sex of my life.

**Bella's P.O.V  
**I listened quietly as Rose came downstairs and went into the garage; i knew Emmett was in there. I smiled to myself as i heard them both run away into the forest. Edward's lifted his head, took his skull candy headphones out and smiled that vey delicious smile "One down" he said and went back to read his book, replacing his headphones.

**Edward's P.O.V  
**I knew Jasper and Alice had heard Emmett and Rose leave, he had probably head my comment as well, i pretended to read my book, my thoughts focusing on how to win this bet. We just had to win, failure isn't an option.

**Alice's P.O.V  
**I stared into Jasper's dark eyes, waiting for him to make a move, i hadn't had a vision about this, so i didn't know. BLINK DAMN YOU! I thought furiously. Jasper smiled, at my obvious frustration. I wasn't moving until i won. It was apparent Jasper felt the same.  
Suddenly, his face darkened, and he tried so hard not to move, but he was so excited, or so it seemed. Maybe this was a plot. Until i heard Edward murmur "One down" through the floor, my attention momentarily shifted to Edward, i realised that i had looked away. "YES!" Jasper shouted, "I am king of the staring match!"  
He quickly did a dance of victory and i asked him "What was Edward talking about?"  
"Emmett and Rose are out of the bet" He said simply and i joined him in his victory dance. It was a battle of will between us and them. We were so going to win, we'd gone almost two weeks without sex before, we can do it for three more days.  
"You shouldn't be so confident!" Edward shouted up.  
_Get out of my head you! _I thought at him, sending a picture of me giving him evils.

_2 more days later...  
_**Edwards P.O.V  
**you could tell it was getting to Bella, it was so obvious. I on the other hand had gone almost ninety years without sex, one more day; i could live with.  
I strolled into our house and walked into Bella coming out of the front room. She looked at me apologetically and bit her lip. I low growl escaped my lips; she didn't know what that did to me.  
_Screw the bet!_ I thought and grabbed Bella, pulling her towards the closest room, which just happened to be the room Bella had just left. This was going to be the best sex of our lives.

**Jasper's P.O.V  
**I was in the kitchen, watching the cooking channel when Emmett walked in, handing me $50. I looked at it like it was a bomb, why was he giving it to _me?_ He read my expression and said "Alice hasn't told you?" At this point Alice flounced in and squealed, "Jasper, we won!"  
I hugged Alice tightly and snatched the note off Emmett. Remembering myself a little i asked "you only just got back?"  
Em smiled and said "Yeah, we decided to go hunting, and then had more sex so you know, it took a while."  
I chuckled as Bella and Edward walked in smiles on their faces, Ed handed me a note as well. I thanked him and Alice walked out, motioning me to follow. I did so and we ran (like rose and Emmett) into the forest.


	6. Don't You Dare!

**Alice's POV**  
it was midday (not that it made any difference) and it was raining. Again.  
I sighed and sat next to my husband in the kitchen. Emmett was talking to us about a new game he'd learned about called Would You Rather Extreme.

**Jasper's POV**  
I'm really bored.  
Where's Eddie, i want to mess with his emotions...

**Edwards POV**  
I closed my eyes, as i sat there. Intrigued by the feelings that Jasper was no doubt sending my way. I almost felt high, the range of emotions was incredible. I sat bolt upright, there was new one...  
"Jasper!" I bellowed with all my might. "Switch these damned emotions off!" they stopped immediately, and in sat back down, enjoying the Saturday morning cartoons.  
During those brief seconds of feeling Jasper had given me, Mike Newton had started to look a little different... I shook it off, shuddering.

**Jasper's POV**  
I laughed. I'd get him again later.

**Emmett's POV  
**"It's really simple" i found myself saying for the hundredth time to my siblings. "Whatever of the two choices you pick, you have to do"**  
**They nodded, "who's first?" i grinned.

**Bella's POV  
**I was about to offer myself up as the first player, but Esme stormed in, her face was contorted with rage. It kind of scared me, Esme was always so happy.  
"Emmett Cullen" she said his name like it was some kind of rare disease that had killed her family or something. "If you even dare to play that game in my house then you _won't_ be coming back into it. Understand?"  
Emmett meekly nodded and Esme breezed back upstairs, her happy mood back.  
I turned to face Emmett again, who had his typical mischievous grin on. "Who's up for a little trip out of state?" he asked.  
We all looked worried, and we had good right to be.  
This was going to be epic.

_**Ahhh, I'm sorry about the shortness of the last chapter, but it was needed otherwise i would drag on.  
Please check out all my other stories.  
Much love and thanks,  
Emma xx**_


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